05.173
भीष्म उवाच॥
Bhishma said:
सा निष्क्रमन्ती नगराच्चिन्तयामास भारत। पृथिव्यां नास्ति युवतिर्विषमस्थतरा मया ॥ बान्धवैर्विप्रहीनास्मि शाल्वेन च निराकृता ॥५-१७३-१॥
As she left the city, she pondered, 'O Bhārata, there is no woman on earth more distressed than I am. I have been abandoned by my family and rejected by Śālva.'
न च शक्यं पुनर्गन्तुं मया वारणसाह्वयम्। अनुज्ञातास्मि भीष्मेण शाल्वमुद्दिश्य कारणम् ॥५-१७३-२॥
I cannot return to Vārāṇasāhvaya again. Bhīṣma has permitted me concerning the matter of Śālva.
किं नु गर्हाम्यथात्मानमथ भीष्मं दुरासदम्। आहो स्वित्पितरं मूढं यो मेऽकार्षीत्स्वयंवरम् ॥५-१७३-३॥
What should I blame, myself, the formidable Bhishma, or perhaps my foolish father who arranged my self-choice ceremony?
ममायं स्वकृतो दोषो याहं भीष्मरथात्तदा। प्रवृत्ते वैशसे युद्धे शाल्वार्थं नापतं पुरा ॥ तस्येयं फलनिर्वृत्तिर्यदापन्नास्मि मूढवत् ॥५-१७३-४॥
This is my self-made fault that I did not fall from Bhishma's chariot during the terrible battle for Shalva's sake in the past. This is the consequence of that, as I have now fallen like a fool.
धिग्भीष्मं धिक्च मे मन्दं पितरं मूढचेतसम्। येनाहं वीर्यशुल्केन पण्यस्त्रीवत्प्रवेरिता ॥५-१७३-५॥
Shame on Bhishma and my foolish father, who, being dull-minded, gave me away like a purchased woman for a price of valor.
धिङ्मां धिक्षाल्वराजानं धिग्धातारमथापि च। येषां दुर्नीतभावेन प्राप्तास्म्यापदमुत्तमाम् ॥५-१७३-६॥
I am ashamed of myself, the king of the Śālvas, and even the creator, for it is through their wicked conduct that I have encountered this dire calamity.
सर्वथा भागधेयानि स्वानि प्राप्नोति मानवः। अनयस्यास्य तु मुखं भीष्मः शान्तनवो मम ॥५-१७३-७॥
In every way, a man achieves his own fate. However, the cause of this misfortune is Bhishma, the son of Shantanu, who is mine.
सा भीष्मे प्रतिकर्तव्यमहं पश्यामि साम्प्रतम्। तपसा वा युधा वापि दुःखहेतुः स मे मतः ॥ को नु भीष्मं युधा जेतुमुत्सहेत महीपतिः ॥५-१७३-८॥
She perceives that Bhishma must be opposed either through penance or combat, as he is the source of distress, in her view. Which king indeed would dare to defeat Bhishma in battle?
एवं सा परिनिश्चित्य जगाम नगराद्बहिः। आश्रमं पुण्यशीलानां तापसानां महात्मनाम् ॥ ततस्तामवसद्रात्रिं तापसैः परिवारिता ॥५-१७३-९॥
Having made up her mind, she left the city and went to the hermitage of the virtuous and great-souled ascetics. There, she spent the night in the company of the ascetics.
आचख्यौ च यथा वृत्तं सर्वमात्मनि भारत। विस्तरेण महाबाहो निखिलेन शुचिस्मिता ॥ हरणं च विसर्गं च शाल्वेन च विसर्जनम् ॥५-१७३-१०॥
O Bharata, the mighty-armed one narrated in detail everything that happened within himself, with a pure smile, including the abduction, release, and dismissal by Shalva.
ततस्तत्र महानासीद्ब्राह्मणः संशितव्रतः। शैखावत्यस्तपोवृद्धः शास्त्रे चारण्यके गुरुः ॥५-१७३-११॥
Then, there was a great Brahmin, known for his firm vows, belonging to the Śaikhāvata lineage, who had grown in austerity and was a teacher of both the scriptures and the forest texts.
आर्तां तामाह स मुनिः शैखावत्यो महातपाः। निःश्वसन्तीं सतीं बालां दुःखशोकपरायणाम् ॥५-१७३-१२॥
The great sage of Śaikhāvati, a man of great penance, addressed the young, virtuous girl who was deeply distressed and sighing, overwhelmed by sorrow and grief.
एवं गते किं नु भद्रे शक्यं कर्तुं तपस्विभिः। आश्रमस्थैर्महाभागैस्तपोनित्यैर्महात्मभिः ॥५-१७३-१३॥
O auspicious one, in such a situation, what indeed can be accomplished by ascetics, those residing in hermitages, the fortunate, and the great souls who are constantly engaged in penance?
सा त्वेनमब्रवीद्राजन्क्रियतां मदनुग्रहः। प्रव्राजितुमिहेच्छामि तपस्तप्स्यामि दुश्चरम् ॥५-१७३-१४॥
She then said to the king, "Please grant me this favor. I wish to renounce worldly life here and undertake a difficult penance."
मयैवैतानि कर्माणि पूर्वदेहेषु मूढया। कृतानि नूनं पापानि तेषामेतत्फलं ध्रुवम् ॥५-१७३-१५॥
It is certain that these sinful actions were performed by me in previous bodies when I was deluded, and this is their definite result.
नोत्सहेयं पुनर्गन्तुं स्वजनं प्रति तापसाः। प्रत्याख्याता निरानन्दा शाल्वेन च निराकृता ॥५-१७३-१६॥
I cannot return to my people, O sages, as I have been rejected and left joyless by Śālva.
उपदिष्टमिहेच्छामि तापस्यं वीतकल्मषाः। युष्माभिर्देवसङ्काशाः कृपा भवतु वो मयि ॥५-१७३-१७॥
I wish to be instructed here in penance, free from sins, by you all who are god-like. May your grace be upon me.
स तामाश्वासयत्कन्यां दृष्टान्तागमहेतुभिः। सान्त्वयामास कार्यं च प्रतिजज्ञे द्विजैः सह ॥५-१७३-१८॥
He comforted the girl with logical examples and scriptural references, assuring her and promising to accomplish the task with the help of the brahmins.
