05.173
Bhishma said:
As she left the city, she pondered, 'O Bhārata, there is no woman on earth more distressed than I am. I have been abandoned by my family and rejected by Śālva.'
I cannot return to Vārāṇasāhvaya again. Bhīṣma has permitted me concerning the matter of Śālva.
What should I blame, myself, the formidable Bhishma, or perhaps my foolish father who arranged my self-choice ceremony?
This is my self-made fault that I did not fall from Bhishma's chariot during the terrible battle for Shalva's sake in the past. This is the consequence of that, as I have now fallen like a fool.
Shame on Bhishma and my foolish father, who, being dull-minded, gave me away like a purchased woman for a price of valor.
I am ashamed of myself, the king of the Śālvas, and even the creator, for it is through their wicked conduct that I have encountered this dire calamity.
In every way, a man achieves his own fate. However, the cause of this misfortune is Bhishma, the son of Shantanu, who is mine.
She perceives that Bhishma must be opposed either through penance or combat, as he is the source of distress, in her view. Which king indeed would dare to defeat Bhishma in battle?
Having made up her mind, she left the city and went to the hermitage of the virtuous and great-souled ascetics. There, she spent the night in the company of the ascetics.
O Bharata, the mighty-armed one narrated in detail everything that happened within himself, with a pure smile, including the abduction, release, and dismissal by Shalva.
Then, there was a great Brahmin, known for his firm vows, belonging to the Śaikhāvata lineage, who had grown in austerity and was a teacher of both the scriptures and the forest texts.
The great sage of Śaikhāvati, a man of great penance, addressed the young, virtuous girl who was deeply distressed and sighing, overwhelmed by sorrow and grief.
O auspicious one, in such a situation, what indeed can be accomplished by ascetics, those residing in hermitages, the fortunate, and the great souls who are constantly engaged in penance?
She then said to the king, "Please grant me this favor. I wish to renounce worldly life here and undertake a difficult penance."
It is certain that these sinful actions were performed by me in previous bodies when I was deluded, and this is their definite result.
I cannot return to my people, O sages, as I have been rejected and left joyless by Śālva.
I wish to be instructed here in penance, free from sins, by you all who are god-like. May your grace be upon me.
He comforted the girl with logical examples and scriptural references, assuring her and promising to accomplish the task with the help of the brahmins.
