03.035
Pancharatra: Yudhisthira responds to Bhima, accepting his faults, but inability to take action now.
Yudhiṣṭhira said.
Without doubt, O Bhārata, this is true; indeed, do not destroy me by piercing words. I do not blame you for this contrary outcome; misfortune has not come because of my actions. (3-35-1)
I, indeed, pursued the game of dice desiring victory; not for the kingdom with its territories from Dhritarashtra's son. That deceitful gambler, the son of Subala, challenged me for Suyodhana's sake. (3-35-2)
Śakuni, the great illusionist from the Parvata tribe, was always scattering nuts in the assembly. By his illusion, he opposed the guileless one; then I saw Bhīmasena confronting the wicked one. (3-35-3)
Indeed, having seen the dice, just as a bird is properly yoked according to desire, and yoked, it would have been possible to restrain oneself; but anger destroys a man's fortitude. (3-35-4)
O dear one, the self cannot be restrained by manliness, pride, or strength, being bound as it is. I do not blame your words, Bhimasena; I think that is how it was destined to be. (3-35-5)
He, the king, son of Dhritarashtra, desiring the kingdom, cast us down into calamity; and Bhimasena caused us to servitude, where Draupadi became our refuge. (3-35-6)
You and Dhananjaya know that; again, in our assembly where we had come for gambling, what the son of Dhritarashtra said to me for the sake of a single defeat, in the presence of the Bharatas. (3-35-7)
O prince, you should spend twelve years in the forest as you desire, O Ajātaśatru, in a manner known to all. Then, for another period, you should live in disguise, unknown, together with all your brothers. (3-35-8)
O dear one, if the spies of the Bharatas hear of you acting thus, they will not approve. Therefore, you should act among others for so many years; then, having ascertained that, make that promise, O son of Pritha. (3-35-9)
If, O king, this time was unknown to us because of your spies, and you have deceived my people, I declare the truth here in the Kuru assembly: those five rivers are indeed yours, O Bhārata. (3-35-10)
We, all the brothers, were thus conquered by you; having set aside the time for enjoyments. The king formerly said, 'Let us dwell,' thus he was addressed by me in the midst of the Kurus, so it was.
There, gambling became most base for us; in that, we were defeated and all banished. Thus, we wander through countries and forests, enduring hardships and things of the nature of hardships. (3-35-12)
Suyodhana also did not desire peace; again, he fell under the sway of anger. He incited all the Kurus, and some of his followers also came under his control. (3-35-13)
Having entered into that treaty in the presence of the virtuous, who indeed would abandon it here for the sake of the kingdom? For a noble person, I think, ruling the earth by transgressing righteousness is more grievous than death. (3-35-14)
If at that very moment you had performed a heroic act—when, during the dice-game, you seized the iron club, and your arms, burning with anger, were restrained by Phalguna—what evil, Bhima, would have occurred then? (3-35-15)
Why did you not speak of manliness before, when it was time for timely action? But now, after the time has passed and you have reached this point, why do you tell me now, when it is already too late? (3-35-16)
Again, O Bhīmasena, my suffering increases; I am tormented as if having tasted poison. If, seeing Draupadī being dragged, that was forgiven—thus indeed, O Bhīma. (3-35-17)
O foremost of the Bharatas, it is not possible today; having done what was said among the heroes of the Kurus, wait for the time when happiness will arise, just as a sower of seeds waits for the ripening of fruits. (3-35-18)
When a person, having previously been deceived by deceit, recognizes that enmity has blossomed and borne fruit, and then removes that great merit by his manliness, then the hero truly lives in the world of the living. (3-35-19)
He attains complete prosperity in the world; I believe even his enemies bow before him. His friends, out of deep affection, serve him; and the gods, just as they follow Indra, likewise follow him. (3-35-20)
Know my vow to be true; I choose dharma over immortality and life. Kingdom, sons, fame, and wealth—all these do not attain even a fraction of truth. (3-35-21)
