14.080
vaiśampāyana uvāca॥
Vaiśampāyana said.
tathā vilapyoparatā bhartuḥ pādau pragṛhya sā। upaviṣṭābhavaddevī socchvāsaṁ putramīkṣatī ॥14-80-1॥
Thus, having ceased lamenting, she grasped her husband's feet, and the lady sat down, sighing, looking at her son. (14-80-1)
tataḥ sañjñām punar labdhvā sa rājā babhruvāhanaḥ. mātaraṃ tām athālokya raṇabhūmau athābravīt ॥14-80-2॥
Then, regaining consciousness, King Babhruvāhana looked at his mother on the battlefield and spoke to her. (14-80-2)
ito duḥkhataraṃ kiṃ nu yanme mātā sukhaidhitā। bhūmau nipatitaṃ vīramanuśete mṛtaṃ patim ॥14-80-3॥
Is there anything more sorrowful than this, that my mother, longing for happiness, lies down beside her dead husband, the fallen hero, on the ground? (14-80-3)
nihantāraṃ raṇe'rīṇāṃ sarvaśastrabhṛtāṃ varam। mayā vinihataṃ saṅkhye prekṣate durmaraṃ bata ॥14-80-4॥
Alas! The destroyer of enemies in battle, the foremost among all wielders of weapons, whom I have slain in combat, he beholds—so hard to kill. (14-80-4)
aho'syā hṛdayaṃ devyā dṛḍhaṃ yan na vidīryate। vyūḍhoraskaṃ mahābāhuṃ prekṣantyā nihataṃ patim॥14-80-5॥
Alas! How firm is the heart of this queen, that it is not torn as she beholds her broad-chested, mighty-armed husband lying slain. (14-80-5)
durmaraṃ puruṣeṇeha manye hyadhvanyanāgate। yatra nāhaṃ na me mātā viprayujyeta jīvitāt॥14-80-6॥
I think that, for a man here, it will be truly hard to endure the journey ahead, where neither I nor my mother would be parted from life. (14-80-6)
aho dhikkuru-vīrasya hyuraḥsthaṁ kāñcanaṁ bhuvi। vyapaviddhaṁ hatasya iha mayā putreṇa paśyata ॥14-80-7॥
Ah, shame! See here the gold that was on the chest of the slain Kuru hero, indeed, cast aside on the ground by my son and me. (14-80-7)
bho bho paśyata me vīraṃ pitaraṃ brāhmaṇā bhuvi। śayānaṃ vīraśayane mayā putreṇa pātitam॥14-80-8॥
O O, Brāhmaṇas, behold my heroic father fallen on the earth, lying on a warrior’s bed, slain by me, his own son. (14-80-8)
brāhmaṇāḥ kurumukhyasya prayuktā hayasāriṇaḥ। kurvantu śāntikāṃ tvadya raṇe yo'yaṃ mayā hataḥ॥14-80-9॥
Let the Brāhmaṇas and the charioteers appointed by the chief of the Kurus perform peace-rites today for this one who has been killed by me in battle. (14-80-9)
vyādiśantu ca kiṁ viprāḥ prāyaścittam ihādya me। sunṛśaṁsasya pāpasya pitṛhantū raṇājire ॥14-80-10॥
Let the Brāhmaṇas here today prescribe what expiation there is for me, a perpetrator of the heinous sin of killing a father on the battlefield. (14-80-10)
duścarā dvādaśa samā hatvā pitaram adya vai। mama iha sunṛśaṁsasya saṁvītasya asya carmaṇā ॥14-80-11॥
After having endured the unbearable twelve years and slain my father today, here I am, with the skin of this cruel one who is thus covered, now belonging to me. (14-80-11)
śiraḥ-kapāle ca asya eva bhuñjataḥ pituḥ adya me। prāyaścittaṃ hi nāsti anyat dhatvā adya pitaraṃ mama॥14-80-12॥
Today, as I eat from the skull of my own father, there is indeed no other atonement for me, having killed my father. (14-80-12)
paśya nāgottamasute bhartāraṃ nihataṃ mayā। kṛtaṃ priyaṃ mayā te'dya nihatya samare'rjunam ॥14-80-13॥
See, O son of the best of Nāgas, your husband has been slain by me. I have done what is dear to you today by killing Arjuna in battle. (14-80-13)
so'hamapyadya yāsyāmi gatiṃ pitṛniṣevitām। na śaknomyātmanātmānamahaṃ dhārayituṃ śubhe॥14-80-14॥
I too, today, shall go along the path attended by the forefathers. I am not able by myself to uphold my own self, O auspicious one. (14-80-14)
sā tvaṃ mayi mṛte mātastathā gāṇḍīvadhanvani। bhava prītimatī devi satyenātmānam ālabhe ॥14-80-15॥
O mother, if I die, you — who are the very goddess — should show affection equally to the wielder of the Gāṇḍīva bow. Truly, by this truth, I pledge myself. (14-80-15)
ity uktvā sa tadā rājā duḥkhaśokasamāhataḥ। upaspṛśya mahārāja duḥkhād vacanam abravīt॥14-80-16॥
Having thus spoken, the king, overcome by sorrow and grief, purified himself and, O great king, spoke these words out of his grief. (14-80-16)
śṛṇvantu sarvabhūtāni sthāvarāṇi carāṇi ca. tvaṃ ca mātar yathā satyaṃ bravīmi bhujagottame ॥14-80-17॥
Let all beings, both immobile and mobile, listen; you too, O mother, I speak the truth just as it is, O best of serpents. (14-80-17)
yadi nottiṣṭhati jayaḥ pitā me bharatarṣabhaḥ। asminneva raṇoddeśe śoṣayiṣye kalevaram ॥14-80-18॥
If my father Jaya, best among the Bharatas, does not rise in this very battlefield, I shall destroy my body here. (14-80-18)
na hi me pitaraṃ hatvā niṣkṛtir vidyate kvacit। narakaṃ pratipatsyāmi dhruvaṃ guru-vadhā-arditaḥ ॥14-80-19॥
Indeed, there is no redemption for me anywhere if I kill my father; surely, afflicted by the slaying of my teacher, I shall attain hell. (14-80-19)
vīraṃ hi kṣatriyaṃ hatvā gośatena pramucyate। pitaraṃ tu nihatyaivaṃ dustarā niṣkṛtir mayā॥14-80-20॥
For killing a heroic kṣatriya, one is indeed freed by offering a hundred cows; but for killing my father in this way, the atonement is extremely difficult for me to accomplish. (14-80-20)
eṣa hy eko mahātejāḥ pāṇḍu-putro dhanañjayaḥ। pitā ca mama dharmātmā tasya me niṣkṛtiḥ kutaḥ॥14-80-21॥
This Dhanañjaya, son of Pāṇḍu, alone is indeed of great brilliance. My father too was a righteous soul; how can I atone to him? (14-80-21)
ityevam uktvā nṛpate dhanañjayasuto nṛpaḥ। upaspṛśyābhavat tūṣṇīṃ prāyo’peto mahāmatiḥ॥14-80-22॥
Having said this, O king, the son of Dhanañjaya, the king of great wisdom, performed the rite of touching water, became silent, and, undertaking a fast unto death, remained so. (14-80-22)
