04.018
द्रौपद्युवाच॥
Draupadī said.
इदं तु मे महद्दुःखं यत्प्रवक्ष्यामि भारत। न मेऽभ्यसूया कर्तव्या दुःखादेतद्ब्रवीम्यहम् ॥०४-१८-१॥
But this is great sorrow for me, which I am about to declare, O Bhārata. You should not find fault with me; I speak this out of sorrow. (04-18-1)
शार्दूलैर्महिषैः सिंहैरागारे युध्यसे यदा। कैकेय्याः प्रेक्षमाणायास्तदा मे कश्मलो भवेत् ॥०४-१८-२॥
When you fight with tigers, buffaloes, and lions in the cage while Kaikeyi is watching, then confusion would arise in me. (04-18-2)
प्रेक्षासमुत्थिता चापि कैकेयी ताः स्त्रियो वदेत्। प्रेक्ष्य मामनवद्याङ्गी कश्मलोपहतामिव ॥०४-१८-३॥
Kaikeyi, having stood up watching, would also say to those women, seeing me, faultless in form, as if overcome by faintness. (04-18-3)
स्नेहात्संवासजान्मन्ये सूदमेषा शुचिस्मिता। योध्यमानं महावीर्यैरिमं समनुशोचति ॥०४-१८-४॥
I think that, because of affection arising from living together, this pure-smiling woman truly grieves for the cook who is being attacked by these men of great valor. (04-18-4)
कल्याणरूपा सैरन्ध्री बल्लवश्चातिसुन्दरः। स्त्रीणां च चित्तं दुर्ज्ञेयं युक्तरूपौ च मे मतौ ॥०४-१८-५॥
Sairandhrī, who is of auspicious form, and Ballava, who is very handsome, both are well-formed; moreover, the minds of women are difficult to know—such is my opinion. (04-18-5)
सैरन्ध्री प्रियसंवासान्नित्यं करुणवेदिनी। अस्मिन्राजकुले चेमौ तुल्यकालनिवासिनौ ॥०४-१८-६॥
Sairandhrī, always tender from loving companionship, is compassionate; and these two reside in this royal household for the same period of time. (04-18-6)
इति ब्रुवाणा वाक्यानि सा मां नित्यमवेदयत्। क्रुध्यन्तीं मां च सम्प्रेक्ष्य समशङ्कत मां त्वयि ॥०४-१८-७॥
Thus, while speaking, she always used to inform me of her statements. Observing me in anger, she also suspected me in regard to you. (04-18-7)
तस्यां तथा ब्रुवत्यां तु दुःखं मां महदाविशत्। शोके यौधिष्ठिरे मग्ना नाहं जीवितुमुत्सहे ॥०४-१८-८॥
As she was thus speaking, great sorrow entered me. Immersed in grief for Yudhiṣṭhira, I am no longer able to live. (04-18-8)
यः सदेवान्मनुष्यांश्च सर्पांश्चैकरथोऽजयत्। सोऽयं राज्ञो विराटस्य कन्यानां नर्तको युवा ॥०४-१८-९॥
He who, with a single chariot, conquered gods, men, and serpents, he is now the young dancer of the maidens of King Virāṭa. (04-18-9)
योऽतर्पयदमेयात्मा खाण्डवे जातवेदसम्। सोऽन्तःपुरगतः पार्थः कूपेऽग्निरिव संवृतः ॥०४-१८-१०॥
He who did not satisfy the unfathomable fire in Khāṇḍava, that Pārtha, having entered the inner chambers, is concealed like fire covered in a well. (04-18-10)
यस्माद्भयममित्राणां सदैव पुरुषर्षभात्। स लोकपरिभूतेन वेषेणास्ते धनञ्जयः ॥०४-१८-११॥
Dhananjaya, from whom enemies always fear as he is the best among men, now remains wearing an attire that is a disgrace in the eyes of the world. (04-18-11)
यस्य ज्यातलनिर्घोषात्समकम्पन्त शत्रवः। स्त्रियो गीतस्वनं तस्य मुदिताः पर्युपासते ॥०४-१८-१२॥
At the sound of whose bowstring the enemies trembled, the women joyfully attend to his singing. (04-18-12)
किरीटं सूर्यसङ्काशं यस्य मूर्धनि शोभते। वेणीविकृतकेशान्तः सोऽयमद्य धनञ्जयः ॥०४-१८-१३॥
He, whose head shines with a sun-like crown and whose hair-ends are bound in a braid, is this Dhananjaya (Arjuna) today. (4-18-13)
यस्मिन्नस्त्राणि दिव्यानि समस्तानि महात्मनि। आधारः सर्वविद्यानां स धारयति कुण्डले ॥०४-१८-१४॥
He, in whom all the divine weapons reside, the great soul, who is the support of all knowledge, bears (them) in his earrings. (04-18-14)
यं स्म राजसहस्राणि तेजसाप्रतिमानि वै। समरे नातिवर्तन्ते वेलामिव महार्णवः ॥०४-१८-१५॥
Indeed, thousands of kings with unrivaled prowess do not cross him in battle, just as one cannot cross the boundary of the great ocean. (04-18-15)
सोऽयं राज्ञो विराटस्य कन्यानां नर्तको युवा। आस्ते वेषप्रतिच्छन्नः कन्यानां परिचारकः ॥०४-१८-१६॥
He is the young dancer among King Virāṭa’s maidens, remaining disguised in costume as an attendant of the maidens. (04-18-16)
यस्य स्म रथघोषेण समकम्पत मेदिनी। सपर्वतवना भीम सहस्थावरजङ्गमा ॥०४-१८-१७॥
Indeed, at the sound of whose chariot, the earth along with its mountains and forests, together with all that is stationary and moving, trembled terribly. (04-18-17)
यस्मिञ्जाते महाभागे कुन्त्याः शोको व्यनश्यत। स शोचयति मामद्य भीमसेन तवानुजः ॥०४-१८-१८॥
Bhīmasena, your younger brother, in whom Kuntī’s grief vanished upon his birth, now causes me to grieve today. (04-18-18)
भूषितं तमलङ्कारैः कुण्डलैः परिहाटकैः। कम्बुपाणिनमायान्तं दृष्ट्वा सीदति मे मनः ॥०४-१८-१९॥
Seeing him adorned with ornaments, earrings, armlets, and with conch-shaped hands approaching, my mind sinks. (04-18-19)
तं वेणीकृतकेशान्तं भीमधन्वानमर्जुनम्। कन्यापरिवृतं दृष्ट्वा भीम सीदति मे मनः ॥०४-१८-२०॥
Seeing Arjuna, whose hair is braided and who wields a terrible bow, surrounded by maidens, Bhīma—my mind sinks. (04-18-20)
यदा ह्येनं परिवृतं कन्याभिर्देवरूपिणम्। प्रभिन्नमिव मातङ्गं परिकीर्णं करेणुभिः ॥०४-१८-२१॥
When, indeed, he—godlike in form—was surrounded by maidens, it resembled a broken elephant scattered about by female elephants. (04-18-21)
मत्स्यमर्थपतिं पार्थं विराटं समुपस्थितम्। पश्यामि तूर्यमध्यस्थं दिशो नश्यन्ति मे तदा ॥०४-१८-२२॥
When the king of Matsya, Arjuna, and Virata approached, I saw them seated near the musical instruments; then, the directions seemed to vanish for me. (04-18-22)
नूनमार्या न जानाति कृच्छ्रं प्राप्तं धनञ्जयम्। अजातशत्रुं कौरव्यं मग्नं दुर्द्यूतदेविनम् ॥०४-१८-२३॥
Indeed, the noble lady does not know that Dhanañjaya (Arjuna) has faced hardship, and that Ajātaśatru (Yudhiṣṭhira), the Kauravya, is immersed in distress caused by the terrible dice-game. (04-18-23)
तथा दृष्ट्वा यवीयांसं सहदेवं युधां पतिम्। गोषु गोवेषमायान्तं पाण्डुभूतास्मि भारत ॥०४-१८-२४॥
O Bhārata, thus, having seen the younger Sahadeva, lord of battles, approaching among the cows in the form of a cow, I have become pale. (04-18-24)
सहदेवस्य वृत्तानि चिन्तयन्ती पुनः पुनः। न विन्दामि महाबाहो सहदेवस्य दुष्कृतम् ॥ यस्मिन्नेवंविधं दुःखं प्राप्नुयात्सत्यविक्रमः ॥०४-१८-२५॥
Contemplating the deeds of Sahadeva again and again, O mighty-armed one, I do not find any wrongdoing of Sahadeva, for one of true valour to incur such suffering. (04-18-25)
दूयामि भरतश्रेष्ठ दृष्ट्वा ते भ्रातरं प्रियम्। गोषु गोवृषसङ्काशं मत्स्येनाभिनिवेशितम् ॥०४-१८-२६॥
O best of the Bharatas, I am pained, having seen your dear brother, who is like a bull among cows, attacked by a fish. (04-18-26)
संरब्धं रक्तनेपथ्यं गोपालानां पुरोगमम्। विराटमभिनन्दन्तमथ मे भवति ज्वरः ॥०४-१८-२७॥
When I see the mighty leader of the cowherds, clothed in red and rejoicing, then fever arises in me. (04-18-27)
सहदेवं हि मे वीरं नित्यमार्या प्रशंसति। महाभिजनसम्पन्नो वृत्तवाञ्शीलवानिति ॥०४-१८-२८॥
Indeed, the noble lady always praises Sahadeva, my heroic son, saying he is endowed with great lineage, possesses good conduct, and is virtuous. (04-18-28)
ह्रीनिषेधो मधुरवाग्धार्मिकश्च प्रियश्च मे। स तेऽरण्येषु बोद्धव्यो याज्ञसेनि क्षपास्वपि ॥०४-१८-२९॥
Shame-based refusal, righteousness with sweet words, and what is dear to me—these, O Yajñaseni, you should understand to apply even in the forests during the night as well. (04-18-29)
तं दृष्ट्वा व्यापृतं गोषु वत्सचर्मक्षपाशयम्। सहदेवं युधां श्रेष्ठं किं नु जीवामि पाण्डव ॥०४-१८-३०॥
O Pāṇḍava, upon seeing Sahadeva, the best of warriors, occupied among cows and resting at night on calf-hide, why indeed do I continue to live? (04-18-30)
यस्त्रिभिर्नित्यसम्पन्नो रूपेणास्त्रेण मेधया। सोऽश्वबन्धो विराटस्य पश्य कालस्य पर्ययम् ॥०४-१८-३१॥
He who is constantly endowed with three—form, weapon, and intelligence—that Aśvabandha of Virāṭa, behold the turning of time. (04-18-31)
अभ्यकीर्यन्त वृन्दानि दामग्रन्थिमुदीक्षताम्। विनयन्तं जवेनाश्वान्महाराजस्य पश्यतः ॥०४-१८-३२॥
The groups scattered towards the one watching the rope-knot, who was guiding the horses swiftly, as the great king looked on. (04-18-32)
अपश्यमेनं श्रीमन्तं मत्स्यं भ्राजिष्णुमुत्तमम्। विराटमुपतिष्ठन्तं दर्शयन्तं च वाजिनः ॥०४-१८-३३॥
I saw this splendid fish, shining and excellent, vast in form, standing near and displaying the horses. (04-18-33)
किं नु मां मन्यसे पार्थ सुखितेति परन्तप। एवं दुःखशताविष्टा युधिष्ठिरनिमित्ततः ॥०४-१८-३४॥
O Pārtha, do you indeed consider me happy, O subduer of foes? In this way, I am afflicted by hundreds of sorrows on account of Yudhishthira. (04-18-34)
अतः प्रतिविशिष्टानि दुःखान्यन्यानि भारत। वर्तन्ते मयि कौन्तेय वक्ष्यामि शृणु तान्यपि ॥०४-१८-३५॥
Therefore, O Bhārata, there are other particular sufferings within me. O Kaunteya, I will tell you of those too, listen. (04-18-35)
युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु दुःखानि विविधान्युत। शोषयन्ति शरीरं मे किं नु दुःखमतः परम् ॥०४-१८-३६॥
While sustained by you all, the various sufferings are drying up my body; what pain can be greater than this? (04-18-36)
