04.019
द्रौपद्युवाच॥
Draupadī said.
अहं सैरन्ध्रिवेषेण चरन्ती राजवेश्मनि। शौचदास्मि सुदेष्णाया अक्षधूर्तस्य कारणात् ॥०४-१९-१॥
Disguised as a maid, I move about the royal palace and serve as Sudeṣṇā's washerwoman because of the dice-gambler. (04-19-1)
विक्रियां पश्य मे तीव्रां राजपुत्र्याः परन्तप। आसे कालमुपासीना सर्वं दुःखं किलार्तवत् ॥०४-१९-२॥
O scorcher of foes, see the intense change in me, the princess; I, being seated for a long time, experience all suffering indeed, like one afflicted. (04-19-2)
अनित्या किल मर्त्यानामर्थसिद्धिर्जयाजयौ। इति कृत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ॥०४-१९-३॥
The accomplishment of goals, victory, and defeat are all impermanent for mortals; with this in mind, I wait once more for the rise of the lords. (04-19-3)
य एव हेतुर्भवति पुरुषस्य जयावहः। पराजये च हेतुः स इति च प्रतिपालये ॥०४-१९-४॥
The very cause that brings victory to a man, I observe, is also the cause in his defeat; thus, I bear this in mind. (04-19-4)
दत्त्वा याचन्ति पुरुषा हत्वा वध्यन्ति चापरे। पातयित्वा च पात्यन्ते परैरिति च मे श्रुतम् ॥०४-१९-५॥
Men, having given, beg; having killed, they themselves are killed, and others do likewise; having caused others to fall, they themselves are cast down by others; thus have I heard. (04-19-5)
न दैवस्यातिभारोऽस्ति न दैवस्यातिवर्तनम्। इति चाप्यागमं भूयो दैवस्य प्रतिपालये ॥०४-१९-६॥
There is no excessive burden for fate, nor any overturning of fate; thus, I uphold again the tradition regarding fate. (04-19-6)
स्थितं पूर्वं जलं यत्र पुनस्तत्रैव तिष्ठति। इति पर्यायमिच्छन्ती प्रतीक्षाम्युदयं पुनः ॥०४-१९-७॥
Where the water that was formerly settled remains there again, thus desiring a change, I wait again for the rise. (04-19-7)
दैवेन किल यस्यार्थः सुनीतोऽपि विपद्यते। दैवस्य चागमे यत्नस्तेन कार्यो विजानता ॥०४-१९-८॥
Indeed, by fate, even a well-planned purpose may be ruined; therefore, at the arrival of fate, effort must be made by the wise. (04-19-8)
यत्तु मे वचनस्यास्य कथितस्य प्रयोजनम्। पृच्छ मां दुःखितां तत्त्वमपृष्टा वा ब्रवीमि ते ॥०४-१९-९॥
But as for the purpose of this speech of mine that has been spoken, ask me, afflicted as I am, the truth; or, even if unasked, I shall tell it to you. (4-19-9)
महिषी पाण्डुपुत्राणां दुहिता द्रुपदस्य च। इमामवस्थां सम्प्राप्ता का मदन्या जिजीविषेत् ॥०४-१९-१०॥
I am the queen of the sons of Pandu, the daughter of Drupada—having come to this state, what woman other than I would even want to go on living? (04-19-10)
कुरून्परिभवन्सर्वान्पाञ्चालानपि भारत। पाण्डवेयांश्च सम्प्राप्तो मम क्लेशो ह्यरिंदम ॥०४-१९-११॥
Overcoming all the Kurus, the Pāñcālas, and the sons of Pāṇḍu, affliction has indeed come upon me, O Bhārata, O subduer of enemies. (04-19-11)
भ्रातृभिः श्वशुरैः पुत्रैर्बहुभिः परवीरहन्। एवं समुदिता नारी का न्वन्या दुःखिता भवेत् ॥०४-१९-१२॥
Endowed with brothers, fathers-in-law, sons, and many destroyers of enemy heroes, what other woman could possibly be unhappy? (04-19-12)
नूनं हि बालया धातुर्मया वै विप्रियं कृतम्। यस्य प्रसादाद्दुर्नीतं प्राप्तास्मि भरतर्षभ ॥०४-१९-१३॥
Indeed, O best of the Bharatas, it is certain that, being childish, I—though the wife—have truly done something wrong, by whose grace I have now come into this misfortune. (04-19-13)
वर्णावकाशमपि मे पश्य पाण्डव यादृशम्। यादृशो मे न तत्रासीद्दुःखे परमके तदा ॥०४-१९-१४॥
See, O Pāṇḍava, even the space for my body now—such as it is for me—was not there during that supreme suffering at that time. (04-19-14)
त्वमेव भीम जानीषे यन्मे पार्थ सुखं पुरा। साहं दासत्वमापन्ना न शान्तिमवशा लभे ॥०४-१९-१५॥
You alone, O Bhīma, know what happiness was mine before, O Pārtha. Now I, having fallen into servitude, helpless, find no peace. (04-19-15)
नादैविकमिदं मन्ये यत्र पार्थो धनञ्जयः। भीमधन्वा महाबाहुरास्ते शान्त इवानलः ॥०४-१९-१६॥
I do not believe this is by fate, where Arjuna (Pārtha, Dhananjaya), and Bhīma, the mighty-armed bowman, are sitting calmly, like fire subdued. (04-19-16)
अशक्या वेदितुं पार्थ प्राणिनां वै गतिर्नरैः। विनिपातमिमं मन्ये युष्माकमविचिन्तितम् ॥०४-१९-१७॥
O Pārtha, the course of living beings is indeed impossible to know by men. I think this downfall is due to your unconsidered action. (04-19-17)
यस्या मम मुखप्रेक्षा यूयमिन्द्रसमाः सदा। सा प्रेक्षे मुखमन्यासामवराणां वरा सती ॥०४-१९-१८॥
The one for whom you, who are always equal to Indra, constantly gaze at my face—she, although the foremost among women, looks at the faces of other, lesser women. (04-19-18)
पश्य पाण्डव मेऽवस्थां यथा नार्हामि वै तथा। युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु पश्य कालस्य पर्ययम् ॥०४-१९-१९॥
O Pāṇḍava, see my condition—how I do not at all deserve to be thus. Even while you are here to protect me, see how time brings about change. (04-19-19)
यस्याः सागरपर्यन्ता पृथिवी वशवर्तिनी। आसीत्साद्य सुदेष्णाया भीताहं वशवर्तिनी ॥०४-१९-२०॥
She, for whom the earth extending to the ocean was under her control, now I, fearful of Sudeṣṇā, am subject to her authority. (04-19-20)
यस्याः पुरःसरा आसन्पृष्ठतश्चानुगामिनः। साहमद्य सुदेष्णायाः पुरः पश्चाच्च गामिनी ॥ इदं तु दुःखं कौन्तेय ममासह्यं निबोध तत् ॥०४-१९-२१॥
She, for whom once there were attendants going in front and followers behind—today, I am going in front and behind for Sudeṣṇā. Know, O son of Kuntī, that this sorrow of mine is unbearable. (04-19-21)
या न जातु स्वयं पिंषे गात्रोद्वर्तनमात्मनः। अन्यत्र कुन्त्या भद्रं ते साद्य पिंषामि चन्दनम् ॥ पश्य कौन्तेय पाणी मे नैवं यौ भवतः पुरा ॥०४-१९-२२॥
I have never prepared sandalwood ointment for my own body, except when your mother Kunti did so. Today, for your welfare, I myself grind the sandalwood. See, Kaunteya, my hands are not as they were before, as when I did this for you earlier. (04-19-22)
वैशम्पायन उवाच॥
Vaiśampāyana said.
इत्यस्य दर्शयामास किणबद्धौ करावुभौ। द्रौपद्युवाच॥
Thus, she showed his two hands bound with shackles. Draupadī said.
बिभेमि कुन्त्या या नाहं युष्माकं वा कदाचन। साद्याग्रतो विराटस्य भीता तिष्ठामि किङ्करी ॥०४-१९-२४॥
I am not ever afraid of Kuntī or of you. But now, in front of Virāṭa, I stand as a frightened female servant. (04-19-24)
किं नु वक्ष्यति सम्राण्मां वर्णकः सुकृतो न वा। नान्यपिष्टं हि मत्स्यस्य चन्दनं किल रोचते ॥०४-१९-२५॥
What, then, will the king say to me—whether I am a skillful painter or not? For it is said that sandalwood paste is not pleasing to a fish when it is not its proper food. (04-19-25)
वैशम्पायन उवाच॥
Vaiśampāyana said.
सा कीर्तयन्ती दुःखानि भीमसेनस्य भामिनी। रुरोद शनकैः कृष्णा भीमसेनमुदीक्षती ॥०४-१९-२६॥
Kṛṣṇā (Draupadī), the radiant woman, while recounting the sufferings of Bhīmasena, slowly wept as she gazed at Bhīmasena. (04-19-26)
सा बाष्पकलया वाचा निःश्वसन्ती पुनः पुनः। हृदयं भीमसेनस्य घट्टयन्तीदमब्रवीत् ॥०४-१९-२७॥
She, her voice tinged with tears and sighing repeatedly, disturbing Bhīmasena's heart, spoke these words. (04-19-27)
नाल्पं कृतं मया भीम देवानां किल्बिषं पुरा। अभाग्या यत्तु जीवामि मर्तव्ये सति पाण्डव ॥०४-१९-२८॥
O Bhīma, the sin I committed against the gods in the past is not small. O Pāṇḍava, it is because of misfortune that I continue to live when I ought to die. (04-19-28)
ततस्तस्याः करौ शूनौ किणबद्धौ वृकोदरः। मुखमानीय वेपन्त्या रुरोद परवीरहा ॥०४-१९-२९॥
Then Bhīma (Vṛkodara), the destroyer of enemy heroes, brought the face of the trembling woman near, and, seeing her hands empty and covered with dust, began to weep. (04-19-29)
तौ गृहीत्वा च कौन्तेयो बाष्पमुत्सृज्य वीर्यवान्। ततः परमदुःखार्त इदं वचनमब्रवीत् ॥०४-१९-३०॥
Then the mighty son of Kuntī, having taken them and having shed tears, deeply afflicted with extreme grief, spoke these words. (04-19-30)
