04.019
द्रौपद्युवाच॥
draupadyuvāca॥
[द्रौपदि (draupadi) - Draupadī; (proper noun); उवाच (uvāca) - said; spoke;]
(Draupadī said;)
Draupadī said.
अहं सैरन्ध्रिवेषेण चरन्ती राजवेश्मनि। शौचदास्मि सुदेष्णाया अक्षधूर्तस्य कारणात् ॥०४-१९-१॥
ahaṃ sairandhriveṣeṇa carantī rājaveśmani। śaucadāsmi sudeṣṇāyā akṣadhūrtasya kāraṇāt ॥04-19-1॥
[अहं (ahaṃ) - I; सैरन्ध्रिवेषेण (sairandhriveṣeṇa) - with the attire of a maid (Sairandhrī); चरन्ती (carantī) - moving about; राजवेश्मनि (rājaveśmani) - in the royal palace; शौचदास्मि (śaucadāsmi) - I am washerwoman; सुदेष्णाया (sudeṣṇāyāḥ) - of Sudeṣṇā; अक्षधूर्तस्य (akṣadhūrtasya) - of the dice-gambler; कारणात् (kāraṇāt) - because of;]
(I, with the attire of a maid, moving about in the royal palace, am washerwoman of Sudeṣṇā because of the dice-gambler.)
Disguised as a maid, I move about the royal palace and serve as Sudeṣṇā's washerwoman because of the dice-gambler. (04-19-1)
विक्रियां पश्य मे तीव्रां राजपुत्र्याः परन्तप। आसे कालमुपासीना सर्वं दुःखं किलार्तवत् ॥०४-१९-२॥
vikriyāṁ paśya me tīvraṁ rājaputryāḥ parantapa। āse kālam upāsīnā sarvaṁ duḥkhaṁ kilārtavat॥04-19-2॥
[विक्रियां (vikriyām) - change; (feminine accusative singular); पश्य (paśya) - see; (imperative); मे (me) - my; (genitive singular, first person); तीव्रां (tīvraṁ) - intense; (feminine accusative singular); राजपुत्र्याः (rājaputryāḥ) - of the princess; (genitive singular, feminine); परन्तप (parantapa) - O scorcher of foes; (vocative, masculine singular); आसे (āse) - I sit; (present, first person singular); कालम् (kālam) - for time; (accusative singular); उपासीना (upāsīnā) - sitting; being seated; (feminine nominative singular); सर्वं (sarvaṁ) - all; (accusative singular, neuter); दुःखं (duḥkhaṁ) - suffering; pain; (accusative singular, neuter); किल (kila) - indeed; certainly; आर्तवत् (ārtavat) - like one afflicted; in distress; (nominative singular, feminine);]
(See my intense change, O scorcher of foes, of the princess; I sit for time being seated, all suffering indeed like one afflicted.)
O scorcher of foes, see the intense change in me, the princess; I, being seated for a long time, experience all suffering indeed, like one afflicted. (04-19-2)
अनित्या किल मर्त्यानामर्थसिद्धिर्जयाजयौ। इति कृत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ॥०४-१९-३॥
anityā kila martyānām arthasiddhir jayājayau। iti kṛtvā pratīkṣāmi bhartr̥ṇām udayaṃ punaḥ ॥04-19-3॥
[अनित्या (anityā) - impermanent; किल (kila) - indeed; मर्त्यानाम् (martyānām) - of mortals; अर्थसिद्धिः (arthasiddhiḥ) - accomplishment of aim; जयाजयौ (jayājayau) - victory and defeat; इति (iti) - thus; कृत्वा (kṛtvā) - having considered; प्रतीक्षामि (pratīkṣāmi) - I wait; भर्तॄणाम् (bhartr̥ṇām) - of the lords; उदयं (udayaṃ) - rise; पुनः (punaḥ) - again;]
(Impermanent indeed, for mortals, is the accomplishment of aims, victory and defeat; thus having considered, I wait for the rise again of the lords.)
The accomplishment of goals, victory, and defeat are all impermanent for mortals; with this in mind, I wait once more for the rise of the lords. (04-19-3)
य एव हेतुर्भवति पुरुषस्य जयावहः। पराजये च हेतुः स इति च प्रतिपालये ॥०४-१९-४॥
ya eva heturbhavati puruṣasya jayāvahaḥ। parājaye ca hetuḥ sa iti ca pratipālaye ॥04-19-4॥
[य (ya) - who; एव (eva) - indeed; हेतुः (hetuḥ) - cause; भवति (bhavati) - is; पुरुषस्य (puruṣasya) - of a man; जयावहः (jayāvahaḥ) - bringer of victory; पराजये (parājaye) - in defeat; च (ca) - and; हेतुः (hetuḥ) - cause; स (sa) - he; इति (iti) - thus; च (ca) - and; प्रतिपालये (pratipālaye) - I observe;]
(Who indeed is the cause, is of a man the bringer of victory. In defeat and cause he thus and I observe.)
The very cause that brings victory to a man, I observe, is also the cause in his defeat; thus, I bear this in mind. (04-19-4)
दत्त्वा याचन्ति पुरुषा हत्वा वध्यन्ति चापरे। पातयित्वा च पात्यन्ते परैरिति च मे श्रुतम् ॥०४-१९-५॥
dattvā yācanti puruṣā hatvā vadhyanti cāpare। pātayitvā ca pātyante parairiti ca me śrutam ॥04-19-5॥
[दत्त्वा (dattvā) - having given; याचन्ति (yācanti) - they beg; पुरुषा (puruṣā) - men; हत्वा (hatvā) - having killed; वध्यन्ति (vadhyanti) - they are killed; च (ca) - and; अपरे (apare) - others; पातयित्वा (pātayitvā) - having caused to fall; च (ca) - and; पात्यन्ते (pātyante) - they are cast down; परैः (paraiḥ) - by others; इति (iti) - thus; च (ca) - and; मे (me) - to me; श्रुतम् (śrutam) - (it is) heard;]
(Having given, men beg; having killed, they are killed, and others (do so); having caused (others) to fall, they are cast down by others; thus, to me, it is heard.)
Men, having given, beg; having killed, they themselves are killed, and others do likewise; having caused others to fall, they themselves are cast down by others; thus have I heard. (04-19-5)
न दैवस्यातिभारोऽस्ति न दैवस्यातिवर्तनम्। इति चाप्यागमं भूयो दैवस्य प्रतिपालये ॥०४-१९-६॥
na daivasya-atibhāraḥ-asti na daivasya-ativartanam। iti ca api āgamam bhūyaḥ daivasya pratipālaye ॥04-19-6॥
[न (na) - not; दैवस्य (daivasya) - of fate; अतिभारः (atibhāraḥ) - excessive weight; अस्ति (asti) - is; न (na) - not; दैवस्य (daivasya) - of fate; अतिवर्तनम् (ativartanam) - overturning; इति (iti) - thus; च (ca) - and; अपि (api) - also; आगमम् (āgamam) - tradition; भूयः (bhūyaḥ) - again; दैवस्य (daivasya) - of fate; प्रतिपालये (pratipālaye) - I uphold;]
(Not of fate excessive weight is, not of fate overturning. Thus and also tradition again of fate I uphold.)
There is no excessive burden for fate, nor any overturning of fate; thus, I uphold again the tradition regarding fate. (04-19-6)
स्थितं पूर्वं जलं यत्र पुनस्तत्रैव तिष्ठति। इति पर्यायमिच्छन्ती प्रतीक्षाम्युदयं पुनः ॥०४-१९-७॥
sthitaṃ pūrvaṃ jalaṃ yatra punastatraiva tiṣṭhati. iti paryāyamicchantī pratīkṣāmyudayaṃ punaḥ ॥04-19-7॥
[स्थितं (sthitaṃ) - established; fixed; पूर्वं (pūrvaṃ) - previously; formerly; जलं (jalaṃ) - water; यत्र (yatra) - where; पुनः (punaḥ) - again; तत्रैव (tatraiva) - there itself; तिष्ठति (tiṣṭhati) - remains; stands; इति (iti) - thus; so; पर्यायम् (paryāyam) - change; alternation; इच्छन्ती (icchantī) - desiring; wishing; प्रतीक्षामि (pratīkṣāmi) - I wait; I expect; उदयं (udayaṃ) - rise; appearance; पुनः (punaḥ) - again;]
(Where the water that was formerly established remains there itself again. Thus, desiring a change, I wait for the rise again.)
Where the water that was formerly settled remains there again, thus desiring a change, I wait again for the rise. (04-19-7)
दैवेन किल यस्यार्थः सुनीतोऽपि विपद्यते। दैवस्य चागमे यत्नस्तेन कार्यो विजानता ॥०४-१९-८॥
daivena kila yasyārthaḥ sunīto'pi vipadyate। daivasya cāgame yatnastena kāryo vijānatā॥04-19-8॥
[दैवेन (daivena) - by fate; किल (kila) - indeed; यस्य (yasya) - whose; अर्थः (arthaḥ) - purpose; सुनीतः (sunītaḥ) - well-arranged; अपि (api) - even; विपद्यते (vipadyate) - is ruined; दैवस्य (daivasya) - of fate; च (ca) - and; आगमे (āgame) - arrival; यत्नः (yatnaḥ) - effort; तेन (tena) - therefore; कार्यः (kāryaḥ) - ought to be done; विजानता (vijānatā) - by one who knows;]
(By fate indeed, the purpose of one, though well-arranged, even is ruined. Of fate and at its arrival, effort therefore ought to be done by one who knows.)
Indeed, by fate, even a well-planned purpose may be ruined; therefore, at the arrival of fate, effort must be made by the wise. (04-19-8)
यत्तु मे वचनस्यास्य कथितस्य प्रयोजनम्। पृच्छ मां दुःखितां तत्त्वमपृष्टा वा ब्रवीमि ते ॥०४-१९-९॥
yattu me vacanasya asya kathitasya prayojanam। pṛccha mām duḥkhitām tattvam apṛṣṭā vā bravīmi te ॥04-19-9॥
[यत् (yat) - what; that which; तु (tu) - but; मे (me) - my; वचनस्य (vacanasya) - of the speech; अस्य (asya) - of this; कथितस्य (kathitasya) - (which is) spoken; प्रयोजनम् (prayojanam) - purpose; पृच्छ (pṛccha) - ask; माम् (mām) - me; दुःखिताम् (duḥkhitām) - afflicted; तत्त्वम् (tattvam) - truth; अपृष्टा (apṛṣṭā) - unasked; वा (vā) - or; ब्रवीमि (bravīmi) - I tell; ते (te) - to you;]
(But what purpose there is of this speech of mine which has been spoken, ask me, afflicted, the truth. Unasked, too, I tell you.)
But as for the purpose of this speech of mine that has been spoken, ask me, afflicted as I am, the truth; or, even if unasked, I shall tell it to you. (4-19-9)
महिषी पाण्डुपुत्राणां दुहिता द्रुपदस्य च। इमामवस्थां सम्प्राप्ता का मदन्या जिजीविषेत् ॥०४-१९-१०॥
mahiṣī pāṇḍuputrāṇāṃ duhitā drupadasya ca। imāmavasthāṃ samprāptā kā madanyā jijīviṣet॥04-19-10॥
[महिषी (mahiṣī) - queen; wife; पाण्डुपुत्राणाम् (pāṇḍuputrāṇām) - of the sons of Pandu; दुहिता (duhitā) - daughter; द्रुपदस्य (drupadasya) - of Drupada; च (ca) - and; इमाम् (imām) - this; अवस्थाम् (avasthām) - situation; condition; सम्प्राप्ता (samprāptā) - having attained; का (kā) - which; what woman; मदन्या (madanyā) - besides me; other than I; जिजीविषेत् (jijīviṣet) - would wish to live;]
(The queen of the sons of Pandu, the daughter of Drupada, having attained this condition, which woman besides me would wish to live?)
I am the queen of the sons of Pandu, the daughter of Drupada—having come to this state, what woman other than I would even want to go on living? (04-19-10)
कुरून्परिभवन्सर्वान्पाञ्चालानपि भारत। पाण्डवेयांश्च सम्प्राप्तो मम क्लेशो ह्यरिंदम ॥०४-१९-११॥
kurūn paribhavan sarvān pāñcālān api bhārata। pāṇḍaveyāṁś ca samprāpto mama kleśo hy ariṁdama ॥04-19-11॥
[कुरून् (kurūn) - the Kurus; परिभवन् (paribhavan) - overcoming; सर्वान् (sarvān) - all; पाञ्चालान् (pāñcālān) - the Pāñcālas; अपि (api) - also; भारत (bhārata) - O Bhārata; पाण्डवेयान् (pāṇḍaveyān) - the sons of Pāṇḍu; च (ca) - and; सम्प्राप्तः (samprāptaḥ) - has arrived; मम (mama) - to me; क्लेशः (kleśaḥ) - affliction; हि (hi) - indeed; अरिंदम (ariṁdama) - O subduer of enemies;]
(Overcoming all the Kurus and also the Pāñcālas, O Bhārata, and the sons of Pāṇḍu, affliction indeed has arrived to me, O subduer of enemies.)
Overcoming all the Kurus, the Pāñcālas, and the sons of Pāṇḍu, affliction has indeed come upon me, O Bhārata, O subduer of enemies. (04-19-11)
भ्रातृभिः श्वशुरैः पुत्रैर्बहुभिः परवीरहन्। एवं समुदिता नारी का न्वन्या दुःखिता भवेत् ॥०४-१९-१२॥
bhrātṛbhiḥ śvaśuraiḥ putrair bahubhiḥ paravīrahan। evaṃ samuditā nārī kā nv anyā duḥkhitā bhavet ॥04-19-12॥
[भ्रातृभिः (bhrātṛbhiḥ) - by brothers; श्वशुरैः (śvaśuraiḥ) - by fathers-in-law; पुत्रैः (putrair) - by sons; बहुभिः (bahubhiḥ) - by many; परवीरहन् (paravīrahan) - destroyer of enemy heroes; एवं (evaṃ) - thus; समुदिता (samuditā) - endowed; नारी (nārī) - woman; का (kā) - which; नु (nu) - indeed; अन्या (anyā) - other; दुःखिता (duḥkhitā) - afflicted; भवेत् (bhavet) - would be;]
(By brothers, by fathers-in-law, by sons, by many, the destroyer of enemy heroes; thus endowed, which indeed other woman would be afflicted?)
Endowed with brothers, fathers-in-law, sons, and many destroyers of enemy heroes, what other woman could possibly be unhappy? (04-19-12)
नूनं हि बालया धातुर्मया वै विप्रियं कृतम्। यस्य प्रसादाद्दुर्नीतं प्राप्तास्मि भरतर्षभ ॥०४-१९-१३॥
nūnaṃ hi bālayā dhāturmayā vai vipriyaṃ kṛtam। yasya prasādāddurnītaṃ prāptāsmi bharatarṣabha॥04-19-13॥
[नूनं (nūnam) - indeed; certainly; हि (hi) - for; indeed; बालया (bālayā) - by the childish (by the ignorant woman); धातुर्मया (dhāturmayā) - by me, the (wife) of the husband; by me (possessed) of a husband; वै (vai) - indeed; truly; विप्रियं (vipriyam) - unpleasant (act); something disagreeable; कृतम् (kṛtam) - has been done; यस्स्य (yasya) - by whose; प्रसादात् (prasādāt) - by grace; by favor; दुर्नीतं (durnītam) - evil conduct; misdeed; प्राप्तास्मि (prāptāsmi) - I have obtained; I have come (to); भरतर्षभ (bharatarṣabha) - O best of the Bharatas;]
(Indeed for by the childish one, by me, the wife, indeed an unpleasant (act) has been done. By whose grace, evil conduct I have obtained, O best of the Bharatas. (04-19-13))
Indeed, O best of the Bharatas, it is certain that, being childish, I—though the wife—have truly done something wrong, by whose grace I have now come into this misfortune. (04-19-13)
वर्णावकाशमपि मे पश्य पाण्डव यादृशम्। यादृशो मे न तत्रासीद्दुःखे परमके तदा ॥०४-१९-१४॥
varṇāvakāśam api me paśya pāṇḍava yādṛśam। yādṛśo me na tatrāsīd duḥkhe paramake tadā ॥04-19-14॥
[वर्णावकाशम् (varṇāvakāśam) - space for color; (complexion-space; scope for the body, i.e., physical space;) अपि (api) - even; also; मे (me) - for me; पश्य (paśya) - see; पाण्डव (pāṇḍava) - O Pāṇḍava; यादृशम् (yādṛśam) - of what sort; as such; यादृशः (yādṛśaḥ) - of what kind; as such; मे (me) - to me; न (na) - not; तत्र (tatra) - there; आसीत् (āsīt) - was; दुःखे (duḥkhe) - in suffering; परमके (paramake) - supreme; utmost; तदा (tadā) - then; at that time;]
(Even the space for the body for me, see, O Pāṇḍava, as it is. Such as it is for me, not there was, in suffering supreme, at that time.)
See, O Pāṇḍava, even the space for my body now—such as it is for me—was not there during that supreme suffering at that time. (04-19-14)
त्वमेव भीम जानीषे यन्मे पार्थ सुखं पुरा। साहं दासत्वमापन्ना न शान्तिमवशा लभे ॥०४-१९-१५॥
tvam eva bhīma jāniṣe yan me pārtha sukhaṃ purā। sāham dāsatvam āpannā na śāntim avaśā labhe॥04-19-15॥
[त्वम् (tvam) - you; एव (eva) - indeed; भीम (bhīma) - Bhīma; जानीषे (jāniṣe) - know (second person singular, present indicative, middle); यत् (yat) - which; मे (me) - my; पार्थ (pārtha) - Pārtha (O son of Pṛthā, Arjuna — vocative); सुखं (sukham) - happiness; पुरा (purā) - formerly; सा (sā) - she; अहम् (aham) - I; दासत्वम् (dāsatvam) - servitude; आपन्ना (āpannā) - fallen into; attained; न (na) - not; शान्तिम् (śāntim) - peace; अवशा (avaśā) - helpless; लभे (labhe) - obtain (first person singular, present indicative, middle);]
(You indeed, O Bhīma, know which my happiness, O Pārtha, was formerly. She (who is) I, having fallen into servitude, helpless, do not obtain peace.)
You alone, O Bhīma, know what happiness was mine before, O Pārtha. Now I, having fallen into servitude, helpless, find no peace. (04-19-15)
नादैविकमिदं मन्ये यत्र पार्थो धनञ्जयः। भीमधन्वा महाबाहुरास्ते शान्त इवानलः ॥०४-१९-१६॥
nādaivikam idaṃ manye yatra pārtho dhanañjayaḥ। bhīmadhanvā mahābāhur āste śānta ivānalaḥ॥ 04-19-16॥
[न (na) - not; अदैविकम् (adaivikam) - by fate; not ordained by divine will; इदं (idaṃ) - this; मन्ये (manye) - I think; यत्र (yatra) - where; पार्थः (pārthaḥ) - Pārtha; son of Pṛthā; धनञ्जयः (dhanañjayaḥ) - Dhananjaya; conqueror of wealth; Arjuna; भीमधन्वा (bhīmadhanvā) - he of terrible bow; Bhīma; महाबाहुः (mahābāhuḥ) - mighty-armed; आस्ते (āste) - sits; abides; शान्तः (śāntaḥ) - calm; quiet; इव (iva) - like; as if; अनलः (analaḥ) - fire;]
(Not by fate this (it is), I think, where Pārtha Dhananjaya, Bhīma-of-the-bow, mighty-armed sits calm like fire.)
I do not believe this is by fate, where Arjuna (Pārtha, Dhananjaya), and Bhīma, the mighty-armed bowman, are sitting calmly, like fire subdued. (04-19-16)
अशक्या वेदितुं पार्थ प्राणिनां वै गतिर्नरैः। विनिपातमिमं मन्ये युष्माकमविचिन्तितम् ॥०४-१९-१७॥
aśakyā vedituṃ pārtha prāṇināṃ vai gatir naraiḥ। vinipātam imaṃ manye yuṣmākam avicintitam ॥04-19-17॥
[अशक्या (aśakyā) (aśakyā) - impossible; वेदितुं (vedituṃ) (vedituṃ) - to know; पार्थ (pārtha) (pārtha) - O son of Pṛthā; प्राणिनां (prāṇinām) (prāṇinām) - of living beings; वै (vai) (vai) - indeed; गति (gatiḥ) (gatiḥ) - course; नरैः (naraiḥ) (naraiḥ) - by men; विनिपातम् (vinipātam) (vinipātam) - downfall; इमं (imaṃ) (imaṃ) - this; मन्ये (manye) (manye) - I think; युष्माकम् (yuṣmākam) (yuṣmākam) - your; अविचिन्तितम् (avicintitam) (avicintitam) - unconsidered;]
(Impossible to know, O Pārtha, is the course of living beings indeed by men. This downfall I think is your unconsidered (action).)
O Pārtha, the course of living beings is indeed impossible to know by men. I think this downfall is due to your unconsidered action. (04-19-17)
यस्या मम मुखप्रेक्षा यूयमिन्द्रसमाः सदा। सा प्रेक्षे मुखमन्यासामवराणां वरा सती ॥०४-१९-१८॥
yasyā mama mukhaprekṣā yūyam indrasamāḥ sadā। sā prekṣe mukham anyāsām avarāṇāṃ varā satī ॥04-19-18॥
[यस्या (yasyā) - of whom; मम (mama) - my; मुखप्रेक्षा (mukhaprekṣā) - face-gazing; यूयम् (yūyam) - you (all); इन्द्रसमाः (indrasamāḥ) - equal to Indra; सदा (sadā) - always; सा (sā) - she; प्रेक्षे (prekṣe) - looks at; मुखम् (mukham) - face; अन्यासाम् (anyāsām) - of others; अवराणाम् (avarāṇām) - of the lesser (women); वरा (varā) - the foremost; सती (satī) - being;]
(Of whom my face-gazing you (all), equal to Indra, always (are); she looks at the face of others, of the lesser women, being the foremost.)
The one for whom you, who are always equal to Indra, constantly gaze at my face—she, although the foremost among women, looks at the faces of other, lesser women. (04-19-18)
पश्य पाण्डव मेऽवस्थां यथा नार्हामि वै तथा। युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु पश्य कालस्य पर्ययम् ॥०४-१९-१९॥
paśya pāṇḍava me’vasthāṁ yathā nārhāmi vai tathā| yuṣmāsu dhriyamāṇeṣu paśya kālasya paryayam ॥04-19-19॥
[पश्य (paśya) - see; पाण्डव (pāṇḍava) - O Pāṇḍava; मेऽवस्थां (me’vasthām) - my condition; यथा (yathā) - as; नार्हामि (na arhāmi) - I do not deserve; वै (vai) - indeed; तथा (tathā) - thus; युष्मासु (yuṣmāsu) - when among you; ध्रियमाणेषु (dhriyamāṇeṣu) - being protected; पश्य (paśya) - see; कालस्य (kālasya) - of time; पर्ययम् (paryayam) - change;]
(See, O Pāṇḍava, my condition, as I do not indeed deserve thus. When you are being protected, see the change of time.)
O Pāṇḍava, see my condition—how I do not at all deserve to be thus. Even while you are here to protect me, see how time brings about change. (04-19-19)
यस्याः सागरपर्यन्ता पृथिवी वशवर्तिनी। आसीत्साद्य सुदेष्णाया भीताहं वशवर्तिनी ॥०४-१९-२०॥
yasyāḥ sāgaraparyantā pṛthivī vaśavartinī। āsītsādya sudeṣṇāyā bhītāhaṁ vaśavartinī ॥04-19-20॥
[यस्याः (yasyāḥ) - of whom; (genitive singular feminine); सागरपर्यन्ता (sāgaraparyantā) - as far as the ocean; extending to the ocean; पृथिवी (pṛthivī) - earth; वशवर्तिनी (vaśavartinī) - under control; obedient; subject to authority; आसीत् (āsīt) - was; साद्य (sādya) - now; today; सुदेष्णाया (sudeṣṇāyāḥ) - of Sudeṣṇā; (genitive singular); भीता (bhītā) - frightened; fearful; अहम् (aham) - I; वशवर्तिनी (vaśavartinī) - subject to control; obedient;]
(of whom as far as the ocean earth under control was; now of Sudeṣṇā frightened I subject to control.)
She, for whom the earth extending to the ocean was under her control, now I, fearful of Sudeṣṇā, am subject to her authority. (04-19-20)
यस्याः पुरःसरा आसन्पृष्ठतश्चानुगामिनः। साहमद्य सुदेष्णायाः पुरः पश्चाच्च गामिनी ॥ इदं तु दुःखं कौन्तेय ममासह्यं निबोध तत् ॥०४-१९-२१॥
yasyāḥ puraḥsarā āsan pṛṣṭhataś cānugāminaḥ। sāham adya sudeṣṇāyāḥ puraḥ paścāc ca gāminī॥ idaṃ tu duḥkhaṃ kaunteya mamāsahyaṃ nibodha tat॥04-19-21॥
[यस्याः (yasyāḥ) - of whom; पुरःसरा (puraḥsarā) - fore-runners; those going in front; आसन् (āsan) - were; पृष्ठतः (pṛṣṭhataḥ) - behind; at the back; च (ca) - and; अनुगामिनः (anugāminaḥ) - followers; सा (sā) - she; अहम् (aham) - I; अद्य (adya) - today; सुदेष्णायाः (sudeṣṇāyāḥ) - of Sudeṣṇā; पुरः (puraḥ) - in front; पश्चात् (paścāt) - after; behind; च (ca) - and; गामिनी (gāminī) - going; proceeding; इदं (idaṃ) - this; तु (tu) - but; दुःखं (duḥkhaṃ) - sorrow; pain; कौन्तेय (kaunteya) - O son of Kuntī; मम (mama) - my; असह्यं (asahyaṃ) - unbearable; निबोध (nibodha) - know; understand; तत् (tat) - that;]
(Of whom fore-runners were in front, and followers were at the back; she—I today am for Sudeṣṇā in front and at the back going. This but sorrow, O son of Kuntī, my unbearable, know that.)
She, for whom once there were attendants going in front and followers behind—today, I am going in front and behind for Sudeṣṇā. Know, O son of Kuntī, that this sorrow of mine is unbearable. (04-19-21)
या न जातु स्वयं पिंषे गात्रोद्वर्तनमात्मनः। अन्यत्र कुन्त्या भद्रं ते साद्य पिंषामि चन्दनम् ॥ पश्य कौन्तेय पाणी मे नैवं यौ भवतः पुरा ॥०४-१९-२२॥
yā na jātu svayaṃ piṃṣe gātrodvartanam ātmanaḥ। anyatra kuntīyā bhadraṃ te sā-adya piṃṣāmi candanam ॥ paśya kaunteya pāṇī me na evaṃ yau bhavataḥ purā ॥04-19-22॥
[या (yā) (yā) - who; न (na) (na) - not; जातु (jātu) (jātu) - ever; स्वयम् (svayam) (svayam) - myself; पिंषे (piṃṣe) (piṃṣe) - I grind; गात्रोद्वर्तनम् (gātrodvartanam) (gātrodvartanam) - for anointment of the body; आत्मनः (ātmanaḥ) (ātmanaḥ) - of myself; अन्यत्र (anyatra) (anyatra) - except; elsewhere; कुन्त्या (kuntīyā) (kuntīyā) - by Kunti; भद्रं (bhadraṃ) (bhadraṃ) - welfare; ते (te) (te) - to you; सा-अद्य (sā-adya) (sā-adya) - she-today; पिंषामि (piṃṣāmi) (piṃṣāmi) - I grind; चन्दनम् (candanam) (candanam) - sandalwood; पश्य (paśya) (paśya) - see; कौन्तेय (kaunteya) (kaunteya) - son of Kunti; पाणी (pāṇī) (pāṇī) - hands; मे (me) (me) - my; न (na) (na) - not; एवं (evaṃ) (evaṃ) - thus; यौ (yau) (yau) - as; भवतः (bhavataḥ) (bhavataḥ) - of yours; पुरा (purā) (purā) - before;]
(Who not ever myself grind ointment for the body of myself, except by Kunti, welfare to you, she today I grind sandalwood. See, son of Kunti, my hands are not as (they were) of yours before. (04-19-22))
I have never prepared sandalwood ointment for my own body, except when your mother Kunti did so. Today, for your welfare, I myself grind the sandalwood. See, Kaunteya, my hands are not as they were before, as when I did this for you earlier. (04-19-22)
वैशम्पायन उवाच॥
vaiśampāyana uvāca॥
[वैशम्पायन (vaiśampāyana) - Vaiśampāyana; (a proper name; the sage reciter); उवाच (uvāca) - said;]
(Vaiśampāyana said;)
Vaiśampāyana said.
इत्यस्य दर्शयामास किणबद्धौ करावुभौ। द्रौपद्युवाच॥
ityasya darśayāmāsa kiṇabaddhau karāvubhau। draupadyuvāca॥
[इति (iti) - thus; अस्य (asya) - of him; दर्शयामास (darśayāmāsa) - showed; किणबद्धौ (kiṇabaddhau) - bound with shackles; करौ (karau) - the two hands; उभौ (ubhau) - both; द्रौपदी (draupadī) - Draupadī; उवाच (uvāca) - said;]
(Thus of him showed bound with shackles both hands. Draupadī said.)
Thus, she showed his two hands bound with shackles. Draupadī said.
बिभेमि कुन्त्या या नाहं युष्माकं वा कदाचन। साद्याग्रतो विराटस्य भीता तिष्ठामि किङ्करी ॥०४-१९-२४॥
bibhemi kuntyā yā nāhaṃ yuṣmākaṃ vā kadācana। sādyāgrato virāṭasya bhītā tiṣṭhāmi kiṅkarī ॥04-19-24॥
[बिभेमि (bibhemi) - I fear; कुन्त्या (kuntyā) - from Kuntī (Kuntī’s son/wife/woman); या (yā) - who; न (na) - not; अहं (ahaṃ) - I; युष्माकं (yuṣmākaṃ) - of you (plural); वा (vā) - or; कदाचन (kadācana) - ever (at any time); सा (sā) - she; अद्य (adya) - now; अग्रतः (agrataḥ) - in front (before); विराटस्य (virāṭasya) - of Virāṭa; भीता (bhītā) - afraid; तिष्ठामि (tiṣṭhāmi) - I stand; किङ्करी (kiṅkarī) - as a female servant;]
(I fear not from Kuntī, nor from you at any time. She (I), now, afraid, stand as a female servant before Virāṭa.)
I am not ever afraid of Kuntī or of you. But now, in front of Virāṭa, I stand as a frightened female servant. (04-19-24)
किं नु वक्ष्यति सम्राण्मां वर्णकः सुकृतो न वा। नान्यपिष्टं हि मत्स्यस्य चन्दनं किल रोचते ॥०४-१९-२५॥
kiṃ nu vakṣyati samrāṇ māṃ varṇakaḥ sukṛto na vā। nānyapiṣṭaṃ hi matsyasya candanaṃ kila rocate॥04-19-25॥
[किं (kiṃ) - what; नु (nu) - indeed; वक्ष्यति (vakṣyati) - will say; सम्राट् (samrāṭ) - the king; माम् (mām) - to me; वर्णकः (varṇakaḥ) - a painter; सुकृतः (sukṛtaḥ) - skillful; न (na) - or not; वा (vā) - or; न (na) - not; अन्यपिष्टम् (anyapiṣṭam) - other (than one’s own) well-pounded (paste); हि (hi) - indeed; मत्स्यस्य (matsyasya) - for the fish; चन्दनम् (candanaṃ) - sandalwood; किल (kila) - it is said; रोचते (rocate) - is pleasing;]
(What indeed will the king say to me—a painter, skillful or not? Not other (than its own) well-pounded (paste), indeed, for the fish is sandalwood, it is said, pleasing.)
What, then, will the king say to me—whether I am a skillful painter or not? For it is said that sandalwood paste is not pleasing to a fish when it is not its proper food. (04-19-25)
वैशम्पायन उवाच॥
vaiśampāyana uvāca॥
[वैशम्पायन (vaiśampāyana) - Vaiśampāyana; (proper noun); उवाच (uvāca) - said;]
(Vaiśampāyana said;)
Vaiśampāyana said.
सा कीर्तयन्ती दुःखानि भीमसेनस्य भामिनी। रुरोद शनकैः कृष्णा भीमसेनमुदीक्षती ॥०४-१९-२६॥
sā kīrtayantī duḥkhāni bhīmasenasya bhāminī. ruroda śanakaiḥ kṛṣṇā bhīmasenamudīkṣatī ॥04-19-26॥
[सा (sā) - she; कीर्तयन्ती (kīrtayantī) - recounting; दुःखानि (duḥkhāni) - sufferings; भीमसेनस्य (bhīmasenasya) - of Bhīmasena; भामिनी (bhāminī) - the radiant woman; रुरोद (ruroda) - wept; शनकैः (śanakaiḥ) - slowly; कृष्णा (kṛṣṇā) - Kṛṣṇā (Draupadī); भीमसेनम् (bhīmasenam) - Bhīmasena; उदीक्षती (udīkṣatī) - looking at;]
(She, recounting the sufferings of Bhīmasena, the radiant woman, wept slowly, Kṛṣṇā, looking at Bhīmasena.)
Kṛṣṇā (Draupadī), the radiant woman, while recounting the sufferings of Bhīmasena, slowly wept as she gazed at Bhīmasena. (04-19-26)
सा बाष्पकलया वाचा निःश्वसन्ती पुनः पुनः। हृदयं भीमसेनस्य घट्टयन्तीदमब्रवीत् ॥०४-१९-२७॥
sā bāṣpakalayā vācā niḥśvasantī punaḥ punaḥ | hṛdayaṃ bhīmasenasya ghaṭṭayantī idam abravīt ॥04-19-27॥
[सा (sā) - she; बाष्पकलया (bāṣpakalayā) - with a tone (tinge) of tears; वाचा (vācā) - with speech; निःश्वसन्ती (niḥśvasantī) - sighing; पुनः (punaḥ) - again; पुनः (punaḥ) - again; हृदयं (hṛdayam) - the heart; भीमसेनस्य (bhīmasenasya) - of Bhīmasena; घट्टयन्ती (ghaṭṭayantī) - disturbing; इदम् (idam) - this; अब्रवीत् (abravīt) - said;]
(She, with a tone of tears, with speech, sighing again and again, the heart of Bhīmasena disturbing, this said.)
She, her voice tinged with tears and sighing repeatedly, disturbing Bhīmasena's heart, spoke these words. (04-19-27)
नाल्पं कृतं मया भीम देवानां किल्बिषं पुरा। अभाग्या यत्तु जीवामि मर्तव्ये सति पाण्डव ॥०४-१९-२८॥
nālpaṃ kṛtaṃ mayā bhīma devānāṃ kilbiṣaṃ purā। abhāgyā yattu jīvāmi martavye sati pāṇḍava॥04-19-28॥
[न (na) - not; अल्पं (alpaṃ) - small; कृतं (kṛtaṃ) - done; मया (mayā) - by me; भीम (bhīma) - O Bhīma; देवानां (devānāṃ) - of the gods; किल्बिषं (kilbiṣaṃ) - sin; पुरा (purā) - formerly; अभाग्या (abhāgyā) - unfortunate; यत् तु (yat tu) - but that; जीवामि (jīvāmi) - I live; मर्तव्ये (martavye) - when it is to die; सति (sati) - being; पाण्डव (pāṇḍava) - O Pāṇḍava;]
(Not small done by me, O Bhīma, to the gods sin formerly. Unfortunate but that I live, when dying being, O Pāṇḍava.)
O Bhīma, the sin I committed against the gods in the past is not small. O Pāṇḍava, it is because of misfortune that I continue to live when I ought to die. (04-19-28)
ततस्तस्याः करौ शूनौ किणबद्धौ वृकोदरः। मुखमानीय वेपन्त्या रुरोद परवीरहा ॥०४-१९-२९॥
tatas tasyāḥ karau śūnau kiṇabaddhau vṛkodaraḥ। mukham ānīya vepantyā ruroda paravīrahā॥04-19-29॥
[ततः (tatas) - then; तस्याः (tasyāḥ) - her; करौ (karau) - hands (dual); शूनौ (śūnau) - empty; किणबद्धौ (kiṇabaddhau) - covered with dust (dual); वृकोदरः (vṛkodaraḥ) - Vṛkodara (Bhīma, a proper noun); मुखम् (mukham) - face; आनीय (ānīya) - bringing; वेपन्त्या (vepantyā) - trembling (feminine, instrumental singular); रुरोद (ruroda) - wailed; परवीरहा (paravīrahā) - destroyer of enemy heroes (epithet for Bhīma);]
(Then her hands, empty and covered with dust, Vṛkodara, bringing the face of the trembling one, wailed—the destroyer of enemy heroes.)
Then Bhīma (Vṛkodara), the destroyer of enemy heroes, brought the face of the trembling woman near, and, seeing her hands empty and covered with dust, began to weep. (04-19-29)
तौ गृहीत्वा च कौन्तेयो बाष्पमुत्सृज्य वीर्यवान्। ततः परमदुःखार्त इदं वचनमब्रवीत् ॥०४-१९-३०॥
tau gṛhītvā ca kaunteyo bāṣpam utsṛjya vīryavān। tataḥ paramaduḥkhārta idaṃ vacanam abravīt॥04-19-30॥
[तौ (tau) - them; गृहीत्वा (gṛhītvā) - having taken; च (ca) - and; कौन्तेयः (kaunteyaḥ) - the son of Kuntī; बाष्पम् (bāṣpam) - tears; उत्सृज्य (utsṛjya) - having shed; वीर्यवान् (vīryavān) - mighty; ततः (tataḥ) - then; परमदुःखार्तः (paramaduḥkhārtaḥ) - afflicted with extreme grief; इदं (idaṃ) - this; वचनम् (vacanam) - speech; अब्रवीत् (abravīt) - spoke;]
(Having taken them and the son of Kuntī, having shed tears, mighty, then, afflicted with extreme grief, this speech spoke.)
Then the mighty son of Kuntī, having taken them and having shed tears, deeply afflicted with extreme grief, spoke these words. (04-19-30)
