04.019
Draupadī said.
Disguised as a maid, I move about the royal palace and serve as Sudeṣṇā's washerwoman because of the dice-gambler. (04-19-1)
O scorcher of foes, see the intense change in me, the princess; I, being seated for a long time, experience all suffering indeed, like one afflicted. (04-19-2)
The accomplishment of goals, victory, and defeat are all impermanent for mortals; with this in mind, I wait once more for the rise of the lords. (04-19-3)
The very cause that brings victory to a man, I observe, is also the cause in his defeat; thus, I bear this in mind. (04-19-4)
Men, having given, beg; having killed, they themselves are killed, and others do likewise; having caused others to fall, they themselves are cast down by others; thus have I heard. (04-19-5)
There is no excessive burden for fate, nor any overturning of fate; thus, I uphold again the tradition regarding fate. (04-19-6)
Where the water that was formerly settled remains there again, thus desiring a change, I wait again for the rise. (04-19-7)
Indeed, by fate, even a well-planned purpose may be ruined; therefore, at the arrival of fate, effort must be made by the wise. (04-19-8)
But as for the purpose of this speech of mine that has been spoken, ask me, afflicted as I am, the truth; or, even if unasked, I shall tell it to you. (4-19-9)
I am the queen of the sons of Pandu, the daughter of Drupada—having come to this state, what woman other than I would even want to go on living? (04-19-10)
Overcoming all the Kurus, the Pāñcālas, and the sons of Pāṇḍu, affliction has indeed come upon me, O Bhārata, O subduer of enemies. (04-19-11)
Endowed with brothers, fathers-in-law, sons, and many destroyers of enemy heroes, what other woman could possibly be unhappy? (04-19-12)
Indeed, O best of the Bharatas, it is certain that, being childish, I—though the wife—have truly done something wrong, by whose grace I have now come into this misfortune. (04-19-13)
See, O Pāṇḍava, even the space for my body now—such as it is for me—was not there during that supreme suffering at that time. (04-19-14)
You alone, O Bhīma, know what happiness was mine before, O Pārtha. Now I, having fallen into servitude, helpless, find no peace. (04-19-15)
I do not believe this is by fate, where Arjuna (Pārtha, Dhananjaya), and Bhīma, the mighty-armed bowman, are sitting calmly, like fire subdued. (04-19-16)
O Pārtha, the course of living beings is indeed impossible to know by men. I think this downfall is due to your unconsidered action. (04-19-17)
The one for whom you, who are always equal to Indra, constantly gaze at my face—she, although the foremost among women, looks at the faces of other, lesser women. (04-19-18)
O Pāṇḍava, see my condition—how I do not at all deserve to be thus. Even while you are here to protect me, see how time brings about change. (04-19-19)
She, for whom the earth extending to the ocean was under her control, now I, fearful of Sudeṣṇā, am subject to her authority. (04-19-20)
She, for whom once there were attendants going in front and followers behind—today, I am going in front and behind for Sudeṣṇā. Know, O son of Kuntī, that this sorrow of mine is unbearable. (04-19-21)
I have never prepared sandalwood ointment for my own body, except when your mother Kunti did so. Today, for your welfare, I myself grind the sandalwood. See, Kaunteya, my hands are not as they were before, as when I did this for you earlier. (04-19-22)
Vaiśampāyana said.
Thus, she showed his two hands bound with shackles. Draupadī said.
I am not ever afraid of Kuntī or of you. But now, in front of Virāṭa, I stand as a frightened female servant. (04-19-24)
What, then, will the king say to me—whether I am a skillful painter or not? For it is said that sandalwood paste is not pleasing to a fish when it is not its proper food. (04-19-25)
Vaiśampāyana said.
Kṛṣṇā (Draupadī), the radiant woman, while recounting the sufferings of Bhīmasena, slowly wept as she gazed at Bhīmasena. (04-19-26)
She, her voice tinged with tears and sighing repeatedly, disturbing Bhīmasena's heart, spoke these words. (04-19-27)
O Bhīma, the sin I committed against the gods in the past is not small. O Pāṇḍava, it is because of misfortune that I continue to live when I ought to die. (04-19-28)
Then Bhīma (Vṛkodara), the destroyer of enemy heroes, brought the face of the trembling woman near, and, seeing her hands empty and covered with dust, began to weep. (04-19-29)
Then the mighty son of Kuntī, having taken them and having shed tears, deeply afflicted with extreme grief, spoke these words. (04-19-30)
